Starting a company, working for a company, having or not having children, traveling around the world, ending a lifetime in the same town, cooking while playing games, watching movies, etc. There are ways to spend time, but no matter what kind of life you live, people who criticize and criticize will appear.
Hello, This is Santoshi.
What kind of people are around you?
I don’t think friends who say positive things should ever break up.
On the contrary, let’s keep away from friends who tell only negative things.
No matter how much you like them.
How will columnist James Clear, based on his own experience, deal with the “critics” that appear one after another in his life? I advise that.
Haters and Critics: How to Deal with People Judging You and Your Work – James Clear
The biggest critic in life is yourself
When a person decides to start something, there are critics everywhere who say things that prevent it.
In the case of James Clear, he had no work experience. Then he explained the website himself and he started his job. It wasn’t the criticism of a third party that was in the way at that time.
“I think people think of me as a’loser’,” said his own heart, worried.
What stood out when I started the column site wasn’t the harsh comments from readers on the columns I wrote.
Instead, I was worried, “What do people think when I write what I feel?”
However, everyone has a desire to be respected and appreciated.
James Clear was also at risk and was forced to choose whether to publish the column.
At that time he thought: He believed in his own skills and wanted to contribute to the world around him on his own. On the other hand, isn’t his idea criticized by his friends, family and readers? I was worried.
It bothered him a lot.
As a result, criticism is often superficial and temporary to critics, rather than being interested in target choices and actions, rather than protecting themselves from criticism. I thought it was more important to contribute something to the world.
He decided to publish the column.
He is now a successful person with a website that has a large readership.
Everyone has a critical mind
Over the past nine months, more than 1.2 million people have read James Clear’s column.
About 98% of them were “just column readers” and 2% were “part of the community” registered in the newsletter.
And 0.000008% of people are sending negative comments and emails.
Since the spirit of criticism exists in every person, I think that criticism will occur even in articles that most people agree with.
A study by Florida State University researcher Roy Baumeister proves that negative emotions are more memorable and more prone to criticism than praise.
Focus on the road, not the wall
When James Clear thinks about criticisms and negative comments from others, he refers to winning the Daytona 500 in 1967, winning the Indy 500 in 1969, and F1 in 1978. It is a word of Mario Andretti, a racing driver representing the United States who became the world champion of 1978.
In an interview with SUCCESS magazine about driving skills, Mario Andretti said, “Don’t look at the wall, the car will go in the direction you see it. This is an important lesson that young drivers learn when they enter the race. When you’re driving at 200mph (320km), you have to concentrate on the road in front of you. If you see a wall, you’ll crash at that moment. ” I’m answering.
James Clear considers criticisms and negative comments to be like Mario Andretti’s “wall.”
If you look at the “wall”, you will be caught up in negative emotions such as anger and loss of self-confidence.
Some critics are thinking about messing up the work of others, so you don’t have to worry about it, just focus on the path you should take.
How to deal with people who hate you
Sometimes it is necessary to respond to criticism.
But novelist Gary Vaynerchuk does the right example.
His book “Crush It!” Has become a bestseller, but Amazon has posted a number of 1-star and 2-star customer reviews.
Vaynerchuk decided to apologize in good faith rather than excuse the people who wrote the negative reviews, and Frank posted a one-star review, “
How did this book ever get published?” “
Frank I am so so sorry I under delivered for you, I hope to meet u and spend 15 minutes apologizing and answering any questions u may have, I guess I needed more details in there for u, I am so sorry. ”
Vaynerchuk managed to get Frank to give him a phone number and contacted him directly.
Frank, who should have denied the book altogether, said in the Amazon review section after the call, “
If Amazon had a people ranking system, I’d have to give Gary 5 stars. One can not help being impressed by someone who gets back to you so quickly and handles criticism so graciously.”added Vaynerchuk’s acclaim. In this way, if you want to deal with people who criticize you, do not try to fight back by saying, “Let’s defeat the other person,” but respond with goodwill. Maybe you can get new fans.
But “People will criticize you either way” says James Clear.
Knowing that, he concludes, “Finally, and most importantly, make the choices that are right for you.”