What are the basic techniques for breaking the ice quickly with new acquaintances as described by an FBI expert?
Mr.Michael Thompson explains in simple terms the “art of building trust with anyone, fast,” as described by Robin Dreeke, former head of the Behavioral Analysis Program at the FBI. This is an easy-to-understand explanation of the “10 techniques to quickly build trust with anyone.
These 10 techniques quickly build trust with anyone
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◆It is important to set a time limit for the conversation.
When Robin Dreeke approaches someone and opens up, many people brace themselves for how awkward the conversation will be. In particular, they feel uncomfortable having a conversation with no end in sight. Based on this experience, Robin Dreeke states in his book that the key to starting a conversation is to “set a time limit. The idea is to soften the impression that you are starting an awkward conversation by making it clear that you do not intend to take up too much of their time.
According to Robin Dreeke, the best nonverbal technique for starting a conversation more smoothly is to smile. Mirroring the other person’s posture and matching the other person’s speech and body language with your own can also be effective.
◆Speaking and Listening Skills
Robin Dreeke suggests that 60-70% eye contact is the best amount of time to establish rapport during a conversation.
Another important point is to speak slowly. Robin Dreeke points out that “speaking slowly is more trustworthy than babbling excitedly and too quickly. In addition to speaking more slowly when talking about more important things, he says, people sometimes pause their speech to allow time for the other person to fully understand what they are saying.
This “pause” technique also helps when it comes to listening; Robin Dreeke tries to listen patiently until the end when the other person begins to speak, which he describes as “pausing the ego. He describes this as “suspending the ego.” He is not doing anything too complicated, though, and is basically just trying to be curious about the other person and prioritize what they want to talk about over himself.
Robin Dreeke also tries to ask open-ended questions that can be answered any way he likes, rather than “yes/no” questions. This allows the person to expand and thus elicit further information and conversational clues. A Harvard study found that “the more questions you ask during a conversation, the more positive you appear in the eyes of the other person,” which confirms Robin Dreeke’s opinion. He also stressed the importance of quickly building rapport